The Basics

• If space permits, host parties at home.  Although hiring an entertainment complex or restaurant to organize parties makes hosting as easy as dialing a phone and writing a check, a simple gathering in a child’s home, planned with the child’s input, says “Happy Birthday” more sincerely than the glitziest party orchestrated by a stranger.
• If the convenience of a hired location outweighs the benefits of an at-home party, you can still personalize the event.  Make the cake, provide your own prizes, and plan a game that centers on the honored child – so his or her celebration is not a clone of every other “Birthday Burger or Pizza Palace” party.
• Keep your parties short and active.  Generally, limit parties to two hours.  Sustaining momentum longer than that is a challenge for even the cleverest host, and it’s always preferable to send guests home wishing the party had been longer – than shorter.
• On party day, follow a plan so you know where you’re going, and what’s next.  Otherwise, your young guests will become distracted, and you’ll lose their cooperation.
• Expect the unexpected.  If the birthday girl drops the cake on the kitchen floor, don’t weep.  Instead, salvage the undamaged portions and proceed.
• As a rule, the number of guests should equal the age of the birthday child.  But tender feelings take priority.  Include friends who play together regularly.  It’s not okay to exclude a close friend because of a recent tiff.  Nor is this the day to convene a dozen kids who’ve never met before.  For toddler parties, invite the parent, too.

Preparation
Planning the theme

• To select a party theme, talk the party over with your child.  Choose one of his or her interests as a theme:  horses, soccer, or ballet.  Or, consider more general themes:  teddy bears, outer space, or a safari.  For little tykes, focus on a favorite color or activity:  puzzles, tricycles, or painting.  Although themed parties may sound complicated, they actually streamline the planning by providing a framework for decision-making.  Invitations, decorations, games, and food all can center around the theme.  A jumble of unrelated games and crafts adds to party chaos, while a theme gives the birthday celebration coherence.
• If the child chooses a theme around a movie or cartoon, consider what the show is about to help carry the theme throughout the party, for example, a Bob the Builder party can be broadened to a construction theme, with the emphasis on ”Bob”.
• Take the theme as far as you can; for a princess party request that everyone wears fancy dresses, let them make tiaras to wear, and address them as “Miss Katie” or “Princess Katie”.  When their parent arrives to pick them up tell them that their “Royal coach” is here to pick them up.  Having kids dress the part makes for really fun pictures.  Take a group one and have it printed to send out in the thank you’s.
• Goodie bags don’t always have to be bags filled with candy and trinkets, try to fit them into your theme as well.  For a campout party give the kids flashlights and compasses in burlap bags, tied with green ribbon.

Put the accent on activities

• Choose activities that match your child’s pleasures and temperament.  Mild child?  Subdued party.  Wild child?  Order fine weather and let them eat cake – outdoors!
• Give surefire classic activities (such as playing dress-up, running a relay, going on a treasure hunt, or breaking a piñata) a thematic twist.  For example, pass a stuffed bear as “hot potato” for a Teddy Bear Party.  For a shipwrecked castaways theme, have partygoers follow clues to find a coconut and trinkets.  Then, crack open the coconut – an experience kids will remember. 
• For the youngest partygoers, begin gently with a craft or cooperative activity, such as decorating a cardboard box “house” or drawing scary monsters with sidewalk chalk.  Then, arrange three or four play centers – with clay, water toys, or cupcakes to decorate.  You’ll probably need an adult or teen to staff each of the centers.
• For older kids, begin with a relay or partner-obstacle course to get blood pumping and kids laughing.  Follow next with a calming activity, and then continue to regulate the excitement’s ebb and flow to keep the fun coming but hysterics at bay.
• Remember, you don’t have to reinvent the wheel.  Get ideas from game books, online party sites, and PARTY WORKS “party of the month” idea sheets!  Games that the kids have never played before will become interesting, and often funny, experiments.
• As a rule, prepare one activity for each 15 minutes of party time, plus two or three extras as backup.  Also, start with a small snack early on to keep energy up.  Serve the cake and ice cream toward the party’s end.

Let the party begin

• The crucial first moments of a party set the tone.  As guests arrive, present them with an item that will rally everyone around the theme:  Face-painted “whiskers” for a kitty party; bandanas for the cowboys; retro garb for a Seventies bash.  The result unifies the guests while giving purpose to the potentially awkward first minutes of party-time.  Parents, too, should dress the part.
• End with a bang.  Organize take-home piles of coats and party favors before beginning the closing activity.  Then, fill the final minutes with festivity.  Break the piñata, raffle off the helium balloons (each child should get one), or run the silliest relay.  The goal:  send guests packing with grins on their faces and the host still standing.